Stop Drunk Texting

We've all done it (ok, assuming you drink or smoke weed or boot black tar heroine). We reach a state of fucked-uppage when, inevitably, our fingers become sentient beings capable of communicating with other humans. Holy crap, what a completely uncontrollable and unexpected thing that happened!

What if I were to tell you that drunk texts are a sham? 99% of these so-called "drunk" texts are totally preconceived, planned, and orchestrated acts of cowardice. 

I know why people do it because I've done it, too. It starts with the liquid courage aspect to actually say what you've been harboring all week, and hit "send". But that's only half of it. It's a safety net for rejection. If whatever embarrassing nonsense you're spewing doesn't land, you can deflect. Oh lol I was so drunk, I don't even know what I was saying!

STOP LIVING THE LIE. Say stupid shit to that ex you still think about. Take advantage of your iPhone's incredible camera technology to fire out that stunning dick pic. Confess to your best friend that you think she's can kind of a bummer. AND OWN THAT SHIT. 

"What are you, drunk?"

Nah just keeping it real. 

Disclaimer: Like, it's good to be honest but maybe don't be a creepy asshole.